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15 Of The Worst Things You Can Pack For A Cruise Vacation
Packing for a cruise should be a bit like prepping for a tropical dream come true – but instead, people somehow turn it into a comedy of errors. Between overthinking every outfit and sneaking in stuff you’re definitely not supposed to bring, things can go downhill fast.
Sure, you want to be prepared, but not for a scenario that requires, say, everything you own. And trust me, there are things you think will be useful that will instead sit in your suitcase, mocking you the entire trip.
Curious about what items made the list? Stick around; I’ll spill all the tea. And hey, don’t forget to comment after you’re done reading – I want to hear about that one friend who tried to sneak a waffle iron onboard too.
Travel Irons or Steamers
Ah, yes, travel irons or steamers – the noble crusade against wrinkles. Except, here’s the thing: they’re not just banned on most cruise lines; they’re basically tiny fire hazards disguised as helpful gadgets. And I know you don’t want to go down with the fiery ship.
Nothing screams “vacation gone wrong” like accidentally setting off the smoke alarm because you couldn’t live without a perfectly pressed shirt. Want a smarter plan? Bring clothes that don’t wrinkle (shocking, I know), or use wrinkle release spray and hang your garments in the bathroom while you shower. Steam them with your hot shower mist… look at you, resourceful genius.
Too Many Shoes
Listen, I get it – shoes complete the outfit. But unless you’re planning a live tap-dancing marathon, bringing seven pairs is overkill. Shoes are bulky, space-hogging monsters, and the truth is, you’ll probably wear the same three pairs on repeat.
A comfy pair of sneakers, dress shoes for dinner, and some sandals or flip-flops for the pool deck? That’s your golden trio. Everything else will sit in your suitcase, judging your poor packing priorities. Save the space for souvenirs instead.
Pool Towels
Quick question – if cruise lines are handing out pool towels like candy, why are you packing your own? They provide them, and not just for the pool but for shore excursions, too. Lugging around your own towel adds bulk and, let’s be real, extra laundry when you get home. Who wants that?
And don’t even think about personalized beach towels unless you want half the ship confusing them for their own. Keep it simple, save your suitcase space… and trust the cruise towel gods. They’re pros at this.
Full-Size Toiletries
Are you opening a spa onboard, or are you just overpacking? Full-size toiletries are one of the biggest suitcase space-takers, and for what? Most cruise lines already provide shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.
So, unless you’re working some secret hair potion magic, the travel-sized versions (or what’s available onboard) will do just fine. Plus, do you really want to lug around a 32-ounce bottle of coconut-scented shampoo only to have it leak everywhere? That’s not the tropical vibe anyone’s looking for.
Books
Books and vacations feel synonymous – until you try to balance a hardcover at the pool. Here’s the hard truth about books on cruises: they’re heavy. And awkward. And way too easy to soak with an accidental cannonball splash.
Enter the e-reader, the unsung hero of cruise reading. It’s slim, lightweight, holds a whole library, and is splash-friendly (most are waterproof!). Or, better yet, leave the library at home and enjoy your surroundings. Trust me, Moby Dick will still be there when you return. And if not? Well… maybe it’s a sign not to read about whales while surrounded by water.
Illegal Substances And Alcohol
If you’re thinking about packing a little “liquid courage” or something a bit more nefarious, do yourself a favor and don’t. Cruise lines have a zero-tolerance policy for illegal substances and alcohol smuggling. Yes, that includes the brilliant idea of pouring vodka into a shampoo bottle… you’re not fooling anyone, Karen.
Security checks are thorough, and the last place you want to find yourself is booted off the ship or in a foreign port explaining your “creative packing” to the authorities. Just stick to the onboard bar; your Mai Tai might be overpriced, but at least it comes without a side of handcuffs.
Snorkel Gear
Unless your snorkeling mask is custom-molded to your face or doubles as a certified spy gadget, just leave it at home. Most ports offer rentable snorkel gear, and many excursions include it in their price.
And do you really want to dedicate precious luggage space to a fin-shaped bulge when you could use that space for an extra sunhat or shorts? Cruise cabins aren’t known for their sprawling storage anyway – and dragging too much gear around is about as fun as putting on a wet swimsuit.
Too Many Outfits
We’ve all been there – panicking at the thought of being photographed in the same outfit twice. But no one is judging your wardrobe choices on a cruise; they’re busy scarfing down the midnight buffet. And cabins are tight, so resist the urge to pack two outfits per day.
Instead, plan for mix-and-match options. A neutral pair of pants and a few fun tops? Boom. Vacation chic. And re-wearing items? That’s efficiency, not scandal. Remember, you’re not starring in a fashion show; you’re floating at sea with a side of sunscreen.
Cash in Large Amounts
Bringing wads of cash on a cruise in the 21st century is a bit much. Not only is the ship practically cashless, but flashing a stack of bills at port is akin to yelling, “I’m a tourist, pickpocket me!”.
Most places take cards, and they’re much safer to use, especially if they come with fraud protection. Just carry a small amount of local currency for tipping or for that random snack cart (because churros in the Bahamas are not negotiable), and leave the Scrooge McDuck fantasy at home.
Weapons or Self-Defense Items
Newsflash – you’re not heading into an apocalyptic survival scenario; you’re boarding a ship with a buffet. Cruise lines ban weapons of all kinds, from obvious items like guns to less-obvious ones like pepper spray or even those quirky brass knuckle keychains.
If you’re so concerned about safety that you’re considering smuggling ninja stars onto the ship, you might need a vacation of another kind. Ships are secure, staffed with professionals, and designed to keep you safe. Your best defensive strategy? A good sunscreen, staying hydrated, and avoiding the karaoke bar’s late-night selections.
Drones
Nothing says “relaxing vacation” like the melodious hum of a drone hovering nearby, right? Wrong. Cruise lines and ports tend to heavily restrict or outright ban drones, and for good reason.
While you might think you’ll capture cinematic shots of the ship cutting through the waves, the reality is more “oops, I accidentally dropped my expensive flying camera into the ocean” or “look, I just annoyed the entire pool deck.” Besides, do you really want to be that person who turns a serene sunset into an invasion of privacy? Stick to your smartphone – it’s less likely to end up in the drink.
Unlabeled Medication
If you think tossing a handful of pills into a plastic bag like trail mix is a great idea, think again. Security and customs folks might not share your casual approach to pharmacy organization. Turns out, they’re not trained pharmacists, and it could lead to awkward questions… or worse, confiscation.
Keep your meds in their original labeled containers and save yourself the trouble of explaining to a stern-faced security officer that these random tablets are for your acid reflux, not for reinventing Breaking Bad.
High-Wattage Appliances
Bringing high-wattage devices like your mega-hairdryer or industrial-grade portable fan seems logical – until you realize you’re on a floating city powered by a carefully calibrated electrical system. And plugging in your appliance of doom could lead to blown fuses or worse, a few very annoyed passengers who just lost AC mid-cruise.
Most ships ban these gadgets outright, and you’re better off resorting to a good old-fashioned breeze or smaller, approved devices. Remember, you don’t want to be known as the “passenger who fried the outlets.” You’ll survive without salon-level styling for a week (you’re on a boat, not a runway).
Your Work Laptop
Unless your idea of fun is spreadsheets and stress, leave the work laptop behind. Cruise vacations are meant for disconnecting, not doomscrolling through your inbox or making Zoom calls about quarterly reporting.
Sure, Wi-Fi is available (for a pricey fee), but relying on it is dicey at best. Instead of answering emails, spend your time with something rewarding – like melting into a lounge chair or sampling the dessert buffet. Work can wait, but glorious sunsets and endless shrimp cocktails? Those are now-or-never opportunities.
Giant Inflatable Pool Toys
We’ve all seen those oversized unicorns and glittery flamingo floats, and sure, they seem like a blast, but practicality takes a nosedive when deck space is tight. Toss one of these beasts onto a ship’s pool deck, and what do you get? Chaos.
And while you’re busy wrestling a deflated monstrosity back to your cabin, other passengers are busy giving you dagger eyes. Most cruise lines discourage or outright forbid these inflatable fashion statements anyway, so save your dignity and opt for poolside lounging instead. Plus, it’s one less thing to blow up when you’re out of breath after climbing stairs.
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